Sex Acts Terms

The following is a list of sexual terms of performing some form of sex. Warning some of these terms are shocking and considered derogatory towards women. The purpose of sharing these terms is for knowledge and knowledge is power.

Airtight

Requires one female and three men. The female has one man in her mouth, one in her pussy and one in her ass.

Anal

Anal intercourse; The sexual act of a male inserting his penis into another person’s ass. An object can also be used in place of the penis so females can also perform anal sex (See Greek Sex)

Analingus

Analingus (from the Latin anus + -lingus, "to lick", variantly spelled "analingus’ is the oral and anal sex act in which a person stimulates the anus of another by using the mouth, including lips, tongue, or teeth. It is also called anal–oral contact and anal–oral sex; colloquial names include rimming and rim job. It may be performed by and on persons of any sexual orientation for pleasure or as a form of erotic humiliation.

Analingus can be performed in a number of sex positions including:

The passive partner is on all fours in the doggy position with the active partner performing analingus from behind. The passive partner is on their back in the missionary position with their legs raised high with the knees drawn towards their chest, and with some sort of support (such as a pillow) under their hips for comfort and to raise their buttocks. With the partner's anus exposed, the active partner kneels between the partner's legs to perform analingus.

The passive partner on top in the 69 position. The passive partner may lie down on the active partner in the missionary position, with legs raised high, from the front to raise the partner's buttocks to perform analingus on the exposed anus.

Often used in combination with the 69 position detailed above, another position has the active partner lying on their back with the passive partner sitting on their face. This position allows the "passive" partner to become more active or even completely dominant as they can now easily gyrate their hips and thrust their pelvis.

Arabian Goggles

A "seldom-seen" maneuver when you put your testicles over a woman’s eye sockets while getting head. (Picture it: ass on forehead) It may be anatomically impossible, but what the fuck else is new.

Ballsacking

Takes some luck of the gene pool, but if you're able to do it, always great fun. While you are straddling a woman, take your nutsack and spread it out over her face like pizza dough.

Bukkake Shooter

Another Japanese variant of in which several men ejaculate into a container for the receiver to drink. This is now becoming a main part of the Western-style movies using different styles of containers from a shot glass, funnel, chemistry beaker, shoe, plate, etc.

Bukkake Summit

Here is where a woman receives a Bukkake shower but tilts her head back and opens her mouth for the full experience, trying to catch it all. At the end of all the facials the cum is collected in a glass or platter and drank by the woman of the Bukkake shower. This is a similar to a Bukkake Shooter

Circle Jerk

A group of males masturbating ("jerking off") together with or without interpersonal contact. Any group or group activity indulging in mutual gratification. Not the same as a Bukkake unless there is a female target for the cum.

Cock-Stuffing

Apparently somewhat on the fringe in gay circles, but involves using thin, cylindrical items (thermometers, wire, rubber worms, etc.), and inserting them into the dick hole. Over many months, continue to gradually ream out the hole-at-the-head with larger items, thus ultimately allowing your "buddy" to obtain the goal of fucking your urethra. Wow!

Corridor Canoodling

Great for... A quickie in the afternoon.

How does it work? Find an area at home where two walls are really close together like a corridor or in the bathroom. He leans against one wall and shuffles down so he's in a sitting position with his feet pushed against the other wall/ bath. You then climb on top of him with his legs supporting your whole weight and let your feet dangle either side. You then go for it like you would in a sitting position thrusting back and forth on top of him.

The turn-ons: It's perfect for exciting, spontaneous sex when you just have to have each other!

The turn-offs: He'll need a lot of strength in his legs to hold the position for the duration and it might take you a little while to get the hang of it.

Difficulty rating: 4/5 It is one of our trickier positions, but it's definitely worth it when you get it right.

Fun rating: 3/5

The excitement of being pushed up against a wall will really get you both going.

You say: 'This one rocks. We love doing it in the bathroom'

Costume Play Bukkake

Here is where a you get creative at a bukkake and have the girl dress up in a costume such as a school girls uniform. She sucks off each guy in a line waiting. The men repeatedly cum in her mouth or face.

Couch Bombing

When you fill a small ziploc sandwich bag with Crisco (or your favorite lubrication) and place it between the cushions on the couch. You then proceed to fuck the couch as if it were a woman...but no need to buy It dinner first.

Cowgirl

The cowgirl name derives from the image of the receiving partner "riding" the partner as a cowgirl rides a bucking horse. It is one of a number of receptive-partner-superior sexual positions, another being the reverse cowgirl position. It is fairly simple to achieve and maintain and pleasures both partners. This position is also used as a precursor to the lateral coital position described by Masters and Johnson.

Creampie

Ejaculating into a woman’s vagina. Internal cum shot; Act of ejaculating inside a pussy or asshole. Also the moment after the internal ejaculation, when the man’s cum drips out.

Creampie (also known as internal ejaculation and, in same-sex contexts, as “breeding and seeding”) resulting in visible seeping or dripping of semen from the vagina or anus.

Internal ejaculations, followed by images of semen dripping from the anus, are sometimes depicted in bareback pornography, where they are referred to by the term breeding or the reverse money shot. Breeding is sometimes followed by felching, which involves sucking the semen from the partner's anus.

A vagina that's had a load of semen shot into it.

Note - semen ON a vagina is NOT a cream pie. Cream pies have cream on the INSIDE.

A vagina that merely has semen ON it is just a messy vagina. Cream must be injected!

Creampie Fight

Where a woman takes a load of cum from another woman’s pussy and then passes it to her mouth or the mouth of another woman. This cum is then passed back and forth like a “Snowball”

(see snowball / soft serve)

Creampie Parties

Refer to Creampie but, in which a woman has several men cum inside her. Also known as “Breeding Parties” where the goal is for the woman to become impregnated by an unknown male donor.

Cum Play Bukkake

Where more than one woman participates in a bukkake where they receive facials of cum and the women lick the cum off of each others faces or play with the cum on each other like finger painting in cum and then feeding the cum to each other.

Cum Play Food

An act where men cum on the girls food and then she proceeds to eat the food with the sperm glazing on display.

Dirty Dancing

Great for... Both of you

How does it work? Forget about the bedroom, this position can be done almost anywhere. And if you need more support you can do it on a desk or other solid surface. The man needs to lean back on a wall facing the woman, holding her. The woman straddles the man and can use one leg hooked around his legs or hips for balance. Both of you rock together rather than just the man thrusting.

The turn-ons: He gets great access to your boobs, you'll both feel really close and you can control how deep he goes and how much clitoral stimulation you get. Plus, this is a great position for a quickie.

The turn-offs: He needs to keep steady and have something strong to lean against or hold on to. If you're very different heights one of you may need something to stand on or hold on to.

Doggy Style

A sexual position where the female is on all fours and the male (or a female with a strap on) enters the female from behind (either in her pussy or asshole).

Dream Shower Bukkake

 This is where the group of men have sex with the girl. As one man is having sex the other men watch while jerking off and cum on the girls face. When the man comes to his climax he cums on her face and the next man in line has sex with her. This one can last a while depending on how many men are involved. Since the girl has to have sex with all the guys to the point of their climax and pulling out and shooting on her.  This takes more time than the standard circle jerk of men cumming on the woman.

Edge of Heaven

Great for... Female orgasm

How does it work?

The man sits on the edge of the bed, with his legs down on the floor. Then you shuffle into his lap and onto him, with your legs resting on the bed, while he either holds your hands to stop you tipping backwards. Now you can start moving as fast or as slowly as you want.

The turn-ons:

You get very deep penetration and he gets to do most of the work, while you jiggle about on top.

The turn-offs:

Be careful you don't tip over - as sex positions go, it's relatively risky!

Facesitting

Also known as queening or kinging, is a sexual practice in which one partner sits on or over the other's face, typically to allow or force oral-genital or oral–anal contact. In addition to oral-genital and oral-anal contact, the position also leaves the bottom partner's hands free to stimulate other erogenous zones (e.g., anus, nipples, etc.). The top partner may be facing either direction in this position. It is common for this position to form part of BDSM, involving dominance and submission, though this need not be the case. Within a BDSM or D/s context, facesitting can be a form of erotic humiliation.

Felthching

To use one's mouth or tongue on the anus of his partner; analingus after ejaculating inside the anus and sucking the cum out of the anus. On rare occasions a straw is used.

Fisting

Inserting the entire hand into the vagina or anus. This usually requires large amounts of lubricant and relaxation. The hand is usually not actually made into a fist, but instead the thumb is placed between the middle and ring fingers. Fisting can cause laceration or perforation of the vagina, perineum, rectum, or colon, resulting in serious injury. Once again this is only for girls who are into S&M fun.

Flooding The Cave

Inserting the penis into a woman's pussy and then urinating inside her. Applies to gay men as well.

Footjob

Using the feet to stimulate the penis.

Furball

A "fur ball" occurs when you're performing cunnilingus on a woman who doesn't trim her vagina area. So much hair ultimately gets caught in your mouth that you feel like you have a hair ball caught in your throat. You're chomping away at some girls pussy who has a mane between her legs the size of Lionel Richie's afro, a mammoth hair ball gets lodged into your throat.

Golden Showers

A person who enjoys having someone urinate on them or enjoys watching women urinate.  Great for those who like watersports.

As a paraphilia, urine may be consumed or the person may bathe in it. Other variations include arousal from wetting or seeing someone else urinate in their pants or underclothes, or wetting the bed.  This can be associated with humiliation and or punishment in a dominating master / slave relationship.

Greek Sex

Anal intercourse; The sexual act of a male inserting his penis into another person’s ass. An object can also be used in place of the penis so females can also perform anal sex .  Ask for the Greek Salad.

Half Off the Bed

Great for... Hitting your G spot

How does it work? You simply lie on your bed, with your legs on the floor. He stands up and enters you, while you hook your legs round his legs, if you can manage it, round his waist. He then does all the work, thrusting into you.

The turn-ons You get to lie back and do nothing 'and' your G-spot should get a tickling.

The turn-offs If your fella isn't fit enough, this might have to stop before it's begun, as it takes a fair bit of stamina.

Happy Anniversary

Great for... Both of you

How does it work? Get the man to lay down on the bed with his bum on the end of the bed and his feet resting on the floor. Now climb on top like with your legs either side and slide down onto him. You are now in control, although he can use his legs to keep the rhythm going.

The turn-ons...You should like it because you're in charge and he'll love being able to lie back and enjoy the view.

The turn-offs... Some women find that the deep penetration can hurt if their partner is quite large.

You say: 'I get an orgasm just thinking about it'

Hit the Spot

Great for... Hitting a woman's G-spot

How does it work? The woman lies on her stomach with her hips swivelled sideways and her legs bent. Now the man kneels between his partner's legs and leans forwards with his arms on either side of her. Now it's up to the man to do the work.

The turn-ons: As its name suggests, this position is designed to hit your G-spot - that's good enough for us!

The turn-offs: Some women might not enjoy being face down and not able to look at their fella.

You say: 'Wow - I'm getting excited just thinking about this sex position'

Hogging

While intoxicated, high, or just plain desperate, you go searching for the biggest girl you can find and proceed to ride her like a Harley. Best accomplished with a large group of friends.

Hummer

The well known added variation to a blowjob in which a woman hums her favorite tune while she sucks away on your cock. The vibrations felt against your dick will most definitely produce a healthy orgasm.

Kick-Fucking

The act of receiving sexual pleasure from repeatedly getting kicked in the ass. Once again this is only for girls who are into S&M fun.

Lust and Thrust

Great for Close-up contact.

How does it work? The woman is lying on her back on the edge of bed, using her forearms to support her weight, with her legs dangling down. The man now stands in front of her, leaning forwards with his hands beside her hips and, as the name suggests, thrusts.

The turn-ons: As the woman, you get to do minimal work, enjoy the view and stimulate yourself at the same time if you can balance on one arm.

The turn-offs: Your fella's stamina could be a factor - but then it might be good for him!

Mammary Intercourse

Using the breasts together to stimulate the penis through the cleavage. (Should not be confused with a "boob job" meaning to have augmented surgery done on the breasts.) Also called a titjob, titty-fucking, a tit-wank.

Missonary

A position for having sex in which a man and woman lie facing each other with the man on top and the woman on her back.

Motorboating

The sexual act of a woman (usually with large breast) forcing a man’s face into her breast and shaking them back and forth while he makes a “motorboat” sound.

Multiple Penetration

A person may be sexually penetrated multiple times simultaneously. Penetration may involve use of fingers, toes, sex toys, or penises. Scenes of multiple penetration are common in pornography.

If one person is penetrated by two objects, it is generically called double penetration (DP). Double penetration of the vagina, anus, or mouth can involve:

    Simultaneous penetration of the anus by two penises or other objects. This is commonly called double anal penetration (DAP) or double stuffing.

    Simultaneous penetration of the vagina by two penises or other objects. This is commonly called double vaginal penetration (DVP) or double stuffing.

    Simultaneous penetration of the vagina and anus. If this is done using penises and/or strap-on dildos, this is sometimes called the sandwich or BigMac.

    Simultaneous penetration of the mouth and either the vagina or anus. If the penetrating objects are penises, this is sometimes called the spit roast, the Chinese finger trap, or the Eiffel tower.

Mutual Masturbation

The manual stimulation of the penis or scrotum in males and the clitoris or entire vulva in females. Partners simultaneously stimulating each other's genitals by mutual or simultaneous masturbation, rhythmic inter-genital contact friction or actual penetrative intercourse can lead to orgasm in one partner or the other (or sometimes simultaneously in both).

On the Stairs

Great for... Spontaneous sex

How does it work? You sit on the stairs and rest your back up against the wall. Get your fella to stand in front of you, but with his feet a few steps further down than you. You should now lift your outer leg up and rest it against his body, as he slides into you. Now you can push away from the wall into him and he can use the stairs and your leg to push on and into you.

The turn-ons: If you're doing it on the stairs, you should already be pretty turned on, so this is a great position to reach a fast, simultaneous orgasm.

The turn-offs: No matter how well carpeted your stairs are, this can become uncomfortable, so don't hang about.

You say: 'It was good until my sister came home and saw us!'

On Top of the World

Woman-on-top tends to be a go-to for achieving orgasm, and for good reason. "It allows you to dictate the pace and depth of thrusting, but mainly, you have easy access to your clitoris."  "You can touch [it], have him touch it, or rub against his pubic bone to achieve orgasm." But you can up the ante by literally pulling a 180. Twist around so you're pointed toward his feet in reverse cowgirl position. "Instead of straddling him, put your legs together, feet flat between his legs." The benefits of this are twofold: With your legs together, the fit is even tighter, making the sensations more intense. Plus, there's increased internal stimulation, which combined with your own clitoral strokes, makes for an explosive orgasm.

Paying The Rent

A position in which the woman is folded in half, knees above shoulders, while the man holds the back of her calves and bangs ferociously.

Pearl Necklace

A "pearl necklace" is slang for a sexual act in which a man ejaculates semen on or near the neck, chest, or breast of a woman. Such ejaculation can follow mammary intercourse, fellatio, intercourse, or masturbation over the other person. The term originates from the way the deposited semen resembles a necklace of translucent white pearls.

Receiving a pearl necklace is an activity used as a safe sex alternative for people who prefer not to wear condoms. It is also a sexual way of showing a man’s appreciation to the woman although messy and she probably would prefer the real Pearls.

Pegging

In case you missed the Broad City episode about it, pegging is when a woman wears a strap-on and fucks a man up the asshole.

Plating

Take a clear, glass plate and place it on your partners face, then shit on it. It gives them a nice view without all the messy cleanup. How come you don't see that on any Dawn commercials.

Red Wings

The expression to earn one's red wings means to perform cunnilingus on a menstruating female. The phrase is a reference to menstrual blood stains in the shape of a small bird's wings that are liable to form on the giving partner's cheeks during the act.

The slang term originated among biker gangs, by the 1980s. It was a form of honor to “earn your “Red Wings.” Biker clubs even had a patch for it indicating “red wings.”

Reverse Cowgirl

In the reverse cowgirl position, the woman straddles the man facing the man's feet in a kneeling or squatting position. After either she or the man has guided the penis into the woman's vagina, the woman can keep her torso upright, or she can lean forward or back to lay on the man's chest or move sideways at will. The man's legs can be flat on the bed or arched. The woman also has control over the pace, rhythm, depth and duration of penetration. By changing her position and thrusts, the woman can change the level of stimulation for the man, while simultaneously stimulating her clitoris or G-spot. When planting her feet instead of kneeling, still facing away from her partner, the position is known as Reverse Asian Cowgirl.

Reverse missionary position

When the woman lies on her partner's chest, Stretching out with her legs on the man puts more pressure on the woman's mons pubis and clitoris. If the man separates his legs, the woman can put her legs between his.  In this position she can increase the tightness on the man's penis by pressing her thighs together, or the man may press the woman's thighs together. This increases vaginal friction but she can still control the pace and rhythm of her thrusts. As most women approach orgasm, they experience acute vaginal contractions, which also increases the man's sexual stimulation by increasing tightness on his penis.

Rim Job

(see Analingus)

Rimming

(see Analingus)

Shrimping

The term for licking or sucking your partner's toes.

Sixty-nine

The 69 position Simultaneous oral sex between two people is called 69. Partners may be female or male. They can lie side-by-side, lie one on top of the other, or stand with one partner holding the other upside down.

Skiing

While facing in the same direction, a girl gets between two guys and jerks them both off, thus imitating some hardcore cross-country action.

Slap The Ghost

Masturbation while wearing a condom.

If you Slap the Ghost, you won't leave a mess.

Snerd Nurgling

The act of moving your anal lovers turds about within his/her lower intestine with your dick. Really popular with the lavender boys, hence the expression, "Oh Lance, Nergle me you Snerd".

Snoodling

When an uncircumcised guy pulls his extra foreskin over the cock of another guy and proceeds to jerk him off. Those gays have way too much free time. Can be used at as a great derogatory term as in, "You Snoodler!"

Snowball

Ah yes, every man fantasy to watch 2 girls pass his cum back and forth like a snowball.  Another definition is when a girl blows some other guy, and then gives you a hot sloppy kiss with some of that guy's fresh jizz still in her mouth. With all blow jobs out there, odds are it has happened to you. Just ask your friends if it has, cause they probably already know and have been laughing their asses off at you.

Where a woman takes a cum load in her mouth, and then spits it back out into another person's mouth, usually another woman.

The Snowball has been perfected to include which woman can have the longer strand of semen between the 2 women.

Snowball Fight

When two or more women pass cum back and forth with their mouths it is referred to as a “Snowball Fight”

The act of spitting a big load back and forth from mouth, usually done after a bukkake or foursome.

Soft Serve

An act where a woman receives a load of cum inside her pussy (“creampie) from a man or several men and then the woman straddles another person’s face, usually a woman, and then she pushes the semen out of her pussy into the waiting mouth of the person.

In some cases the person then passes the deposited cum to another person’s mouth (“snowball”), usually another woman or the original woman who deposited the cum. If this passing back and forth continues then it becomes a “snowball fight”

(see “Snowball” / “Snowball Fight” / “Creampie”)

In some more kinky situations a “Soft Serve” can also stand for when someone straddles over another person’s waiting mouth and the person then defecates into the other person’s mouth but, for this to be considered “Soft Serve” the poop has to be soft.  This also works for a person pooping into a container (refer to “two girls in a cup” legend) or on a glass table while another person lays underneath to watch the action.

Standing up

Great for... Hitting your G-spot

How does it work? You turn to face the wall, stand around two feet away and stick your bum out a little. He then enters you. Possibly bending his knees to make it easier for access.

The turn-ons: You get to thrust backwards using the wall and it's a whole lot easier than doing it standing up face-to-face

The turn-offs: You've got to stand up... which in itself is possibly a turn-off, as it involves more effort than normal

Add a sex toy: Using a clitoral vibrator in this position will increase the chances of orgasm for her.

Stranger On The Rocks

Numbing your hand by sticking it in a bucket of ice and then jerking off.  Spanken not stirred.

Strangers In The Night

When you and your gay buddy each numb your hand (you should know how by now) and spank each other off. Thus eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else, from someone else.

Stumpin

Having sex with a female amputee, carefully insert the amputee arm up your ass while she whacks you off with her good hand. This should produce a stream of spunk like you have never seen before.  You've now been stumpin. This can also be done with two guys.

Surfing

This happens when you nail a big woman. As you watch the rippling effect of her rolls with every thrust, along with the feeling of being drenched, off balance, out of control, and in danger, you are given the sense of riding the ultimate wave.

Swimmer's Ear

When a girl is giving you a good sucking and right before you erupt, you remove yourself from her mouth, place your purple head in her ear, and fill her ear with some sweet love seed.

Table for Two

In some cases, a simple change of scenery can aid in achieving orgasm. For this move, you'll need a kitchen table — one that comes to your partner's waist. "Lie down on the table with your butt near the edge." "He enters you while standing between your legs, holding on to your hips for leverage." You can rest your feet on his shoulders or on the edge of the table. Because he's standing, his hands are free to stroke your body." "And he's at a perpendicular angle, rather than right on top of you, making it easier for him to touch your clitoris, unobstructed." To up your odds of orgasming, clench and lift up your butt, which will increase the pelvic tension and blood flow to the area.

Tea Bagging

Tea bagging is a slang term for the sexual act of a man placing his scrotum in the mouth of his sexual partner for pleasure, or onto the face or head of another person, sometimes as a comedic device.

The name of the practice, when it is done in a repeated in-and-out motion, is derived from its passing resemblance to the dipping of a tea bag into a cup of hot water as a method of brewing tea. As a form of non-penetrative sex, it can be done for its own enjoyment or as foreplay. The practice may also be performed during sexual assault. This practice was made popular in the 90s video game Counter-Strike, in which one player would repeatedly crouch over the opponent's dead body.

Another version of this which is much more forceful is where this act requires some additional tools:  a handset from your neighbors phone,  a rubber mallet from his tool box, and while your in his garage you might as well take his softball. These objects or ones similar should work well. Oooh ya don't forget a piece of lemon.  As she lies on her back, you straddle her on your knees. Once your facing your opponents hairy patch, start to shove one object at a time into her hole (unlubricated works best). The pain or the embarrassment should keep her mouth open for quite a while. By the time you get to the softball she should be ready. While crouching over her proceed to dip your nuts into her mouth. Bite some lemon while doing this and continue the process. You are now tea bagging her.

Tossing the Salad

Tossing salad (like his name’s Romaine) is literally just going down on someone’s asshole. If you ever heard of The Human Centipede, it’s basically the sex version of that.

Truffle Butter

Truffle butter is the result of going from anal sex to vaginal sex apparently, it’s the tan shit (possibly literally) around your vagina. Also called Taint

The Al Bundy

This activity is recommended for every married man out there who's trying to do the right thing. While out with the boys you realize that you are surrounded by big titties. To keep your mind off the screaming beaver go up to hottest girl in your grasp and begin to entertain her with your sharp wit. Classic one liners like "say your a toilet"  & "put it in your mouth" or the always popular "show me your bush" should quickly win her over. The result is consistently a hearty kick to the nuts... and when you untangle them from your intestine, thank her for saving your marriage.

The Angry Dragon

Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon. Once again this is only for girls who are into S&M fun.

The Angry Pirate

Described as "when you’re getting a blowjob from a girl, and when you cum, you ejaculate in her eye. Then you kick her in the shin. The result is the woman is squinting her eye and hopping up and down on one foot, holding her leg and screaming, "ARRRGH!" Once again this is only for girls who are into S&M fun.

The Back Bend

Great for... Your fella

How does it work? Lie on the bed with your legs over the edge and shift forward till your bum is also off the end. Now get your man to kneel in front of you and penetrate you. Now you need to push up on your toes and get arch your back and get him to hold your bum and begin to thrust. Standing on your toes will heighten your orgasm.

The turn-ons: You should like it, because not only do you have very little to do, but he should hit your G-spot.

The turn-offs: He may find sex positions like this a little tiring, so make sure you're both very turned on before your start.

The Bait N' Tackle

The sailors used this one in the old Navy days. Before you go off for a long, lonely voyage, get yourself a tall jar and fill it completely with earthworms. When you get lonely, open the jar and fuck away. The earthworms will provide some slithery stimulation, and your protein load will keep them nicely fed. Gone fishing!

The Big Top

 Next time your at a carnival drag out the Fat Lady and a couple of midgets. Take them to the roof of tallest building in the city. Then have that fat ass shave each kickstand completely bald. When she gets done... role the nude little bastards in a ball and position them on each side of you. Stand up straight and start spitting up in the air while yelling "I'm a cock.... I'm a cock". Congratulations you are now the biggest dick in town. Before getting off the roof, FIST the fat lady in the can and kick the midgets in the nutts. This trick is slightly more fun while wearing a red rubber nose.

The Blumpy

You need to find a real tramp to do this right. It involves having her sucking you off while you are on the shitter.

The Bridge

Great for... Your fella

How does it work? You start by sitting on him and then, using your hands to steady yourself, you lift one leg over your body and turn sideways. Give a few thrusts in between and then keep turning until your facing away from him.

The turn-ons He gets a unique corkscrew sensation and you get to be in control, which is always more fun, we think.

The turn-offs It can actually be quite tricky to move around over the man's legs

The Bronco

You start by going doggy style and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab her hair as tight as possible and yell another girls name. This gives you the feeling of riding a wild bronco as she desperately tries to buck you off.

The Brown Necktie

You're about halfway through ass-wrecking a chick, and instead of filling up her ass with your seed, you pull out and proceed to tittie fuck her, leaving a brown streak between her tits.

The Brunski

When a man puts his face between a woman's breasts and quickly moves his head back and forth while saying "Brunski" in a very drawn out and exaggerated manner. (There are many other variant names.)(see motorboat)

The Bullwinkle

The sign given to a friend in hiding while doggie styling' some chick. It is performed by placing both hands over the head, with palms facing out and waving wildly. Can be supplemented by shouting "Hey Rocky." (Make sure to use appropriate Bullwinkle voice tone.) The guy hiding quickly takes your place fucking the chick before she knows what’s happening.  This can also be done with her blindfolded.  (this is also known at the High Five and similar to the Matthew McConaughey).

The Canine Special

Liberally apply peanut butter to your dick or in the case of a woman, her pussy and call over the family dog. Lick Ubu lick. Good Dog. Arf!

The Carpet burn

Great for... Energetic sex

How does it work? The man kneels down and then brings one leg up in front of him and places it flat on the floor in front of him. Then you kneel in front of him and onto him, grabbing his thigh in one hand and his bum in the other. You can then both thrust into each other like there's no tomorrow.

The turn-ons This is great for spontaneous sex, because all you need is the floor, so try it if you get in the mood - or bored, of course - when you're watching TV.

The turn-offs If you're not careful you are likely to burn your knees, so put down a cushion or towel before you start.

You say: 'I'm so in love with this position!'

The Carpet Cleaner

While banging a girl doggy style while she is eating out another girl, pull her arms behind her back while lifting  up her hips, and then make a vacuum sound.

The Cat

Great for... Female orgasm - great for women who don't usually come during sex.

How does The Cat work? The man lies on top in the same way as the normal missionary position and enters the woman, but then he moves his body up the woman slowly, until he's as high as he can get without hurting himself. Then, instead of thrusting, he grinds into you slowly in small circles. This is great for the woman, because her clitoris is being stimulated by the base of his penis. This position is also known as the Coital Alignment Technique ( where the cat name comes from) and is recommended by lots of sex experts.

The turn-ons It's almost guaranteed to give a woman a very deep, satisfying orgasm. The turn-offs It relies on the man keeping up this slow movements and, let's face it, we know he wants to move far more energetically than that normally.

You say: 'Everyone's going crazy for this sex position! Apparently it was on TV in the US as the best position for an orgasm...'

The Chili Dog

When you take a hot dump on a girl's tits and then proceed to titty fuck her.

The Chocolate Pizza

Happily discovering hemorrhoids while eating a shitty brown eye.

The Circus Seal

Press the twins to one side of your sack and let them fall from the hole in your BVD's. This should produce a beachball effect (painting your tool bag is optional). Proceed to straddle your dates face and pummel her nose with your bag of marbles. This works best when performed with a willing partner.

The Cleveland Steamer

The act of leaving a shit stain on the rib cage of a woman while receiving penile pleasure from friction between the mammaries.

The Cold Lunch

The act of vomiting directly onto a girls head while she's performing fellatio.

The Concoction

First, ejaculate all over the floor. Next, have your psycho bitch girlfriend menstruate on your semen. Stir it with your finger until you get a nice thick pink mixture. Proceed to paint yourselves up silly, just as if you were in kindergarten again.

The Compton Gangbang

You meet a young lady at the bar. She tells you she has a boyfriend, but she ends up going home with you anyway for a one-night stand. When you take her to your place, tell your friends to wait outside your bedroom door. Just when she's about to get off, your friends barge in the room and fuck the shit out of her. That should teach her not to fuck around. (Ladies, feel free to perform a Compton Gangbang on guys too. I know you've got some girlfriends to help you out.)

The Cop's Delight

The act of taking a girl in the ass, pulling out, and spewing all over her "pastry buns", thus transforming her rump into the allusion of an oversized, quivering glazed donut.

The Corkscrew

Cross your fingers, middle over index. Twist your wrist back and forth and go to work on your desired orifice. With practice, you'll have the effectiveness of a dill press and within weeks you'll be able to bore through wood.

The Coyote

This occurs when you wake up in the room of a strange girl and you know you've got to give her the slip. However, you realize that your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore you must gnaw off your own arm to get out of the situation. Can be very painful.  (this has never reportedly been done but, you know you’ve been tempted).

The Cum Dumpster

A girl who absolutely is a 100% cum lover and loves to have cum all over her.  She would bathe in cum if she could. This girl asks if you will be so kind as to set up a gang bang or bukkake for her birthday.

The Cum Guzzling Sperm Burping Bitch

The once in a lifetime act when blowing a hot steamy load down the back of the girl's throat, proceed to give her a large cold bottle of your most favorite carbonated drink and make her guzzle it down. Then, shake her head vigorously back and forth to create the Cum Guzzling, Sperm Burping effect. A great way to impress your friends or end the perfect date.

The Daisy Chain

Partner (A) is sucking off or eating out partner (B) who is sucking off or eating out partner (C) and so on until the final person is sucking off or eating out partner (A). Partners can be gay, lesbian or straight.

The Davey Crockett

A sexual maneuver in which you slip muscle relaxants into your gal's snizzpod, then slide your head in, thus wearing your partner's now-relaxed snatch-fur as a coonskin cap. Can come in handy on those cold winter nights.  This helps if your gal loves to stretch out her pussy in the first place if not, the coonskin cap may still be fighten.

The Dirty Sanchez

A time honored event in which while laying the bone doggie style, you insert your finger into her asshole. You then pull it out and wipe it across her upper lip leaving a thin shit mustache. This makes her look like someone whose name is Dirty Sanchez.

The Dirty Swirly

While boning a chick doggie style near a toilet (preferably one filled with a healthy load of shit, or some hot piss, or both), stick her head in the toilet and flush...she'll dig it. Clearly only works with punk rock girls.

The Dog In A Bathtub

This is a proper name for when you attempt to insert your nuts into a girl's ass. It is so named because it can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath.

The Donkey Punch

Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, you stick your dick in her ass, and then punch her in the back of the neck. The blow to the neck will stun the muscles in the female's ass, which will constrict the penis and give you a tremendous orgasmic experience when you ejaculate. Once again this is only for girls who are into S&M fun.

The Down but Not Out

You've probably tried an all-fours pose before, and while doggy style is inarguably hotter than hot, in order to make it extra orgasmic, you need to modify it a bit. "Lie on your stomach, lifting your butt slightly so he can enter you." Your partner can prop himself up with his hands in a push-up position or lie on top of you." Not only does this facedown configuration provide increased friction as he moves in and out, but you can gently grind your clitoral area against the bed as well.

The Duct Tape Trick

Wrapping a hamster in duct tape so you can safely fuck it without the danger of a messy split.

The Dutch Oven

Entrapping an unsuspecting sleeping partner in a world of ass odor by farting under the covers and pulling them over her head (and yours as well if you're into that sort of thing).

The Dutch Treat

The unexpected result of a Dutch Oven gone terribly awry. Can be very messy.

The Electric Chair

Your psycho bitch girlfriend decides she wants to try something kinky, so she props your stupid naive ass up in a chair, strips you down, and ties you up. After arousing you, she then takes a car battery and clamps two jumper cables to each nut sack. This causes you to have all sorts of synapses, spasms, and convulsions. She then mounts your Frankenstein and proceeds to get electro fucked. Warning! May cause erectile dysfunction after performed.

The ET

Next time you've picked up a married woman or someone who is seeing someone else and she’s at the motel room naked in bed and ready to go, excuse yourself to the bathroom and grab her purse and while she waits, lost in her own pussy.  Get her mother's (or husband's) phone number from her cellphone.  Flush the toilet for effect then get back to bed.  As soon as you find yourself bringing her to orgasm and she is totally lost in the moment dial the number and hold the phone near her head.  When someone answers make sure you mention her name and ask her things like, "Who's the biggest whore in the world?" and "You like strange fat cocks deep in your wet pussy don't you Then hand her the phone and tell her it's for her.

A nice topper to this maneuver is to throw her outside nude and lock the door.   You might have your own closing.  Have fun.  Be creative.  Best achieved if you don’t live in the same town she does.

The Face-Off

This romantic position is only made sweeter with the addition of attention to your clitoris. You can give yourself a hand, or you can close the distance between your two bodies to go hands-free. “Rub yourself against him to get the stimulation you need.”

If it isn’t working: Have him support your weight, then lean back for more clitoral contact against his body. “Think of it as him dipping you during a dance." "With that support, you can get a good rhythm going."

The Fire Island

This consists of telling someone you're going to spunk on their face while they are asleep, only half-jokingly, and then when they don't believe you, doing it just to prove that you're that demented.

The Fish Eye

From behind, you shove your finger in her ass, thereupon she turns around in a one-eyed winking motion to see what the hell you are doing. At that point, you have received a "Fish Eye."

The Fish-Hook

When you pull back towards the pussy after you stick your finger up her anus.

The Flaming Amazon

This one's for all you pyromaniacs out there. When your screwing a girl, right when your about to cum, you pull out and quickly grab the nearest lighter and set her pubes on fire, then extinguish the flames with your jizz! Once again this is only for girls who are into S&M fun.

The Flying Camel

A personal favorite. As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees. You very carefully move forward and prop yourself (without using your arms) on your dick while it is still inserted in her vagina. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long shrieking howl much like a flying camel. Strictly a class move.

The Flying Dutchman

This didn't used to be a specific deviant sexual act, it was just a phrase that sounded dirty and would be shouted out during intercourse on occasion simply for the novelty factor. However, its popularity increased and it has now developed into a specific act, namely that of, just as you are about to blow a load, in any sort of sexual situation (even masturbation for those true pioneers who are constantly on the cutting edge of the sexual revolution) you begin to shout, "Here comes the Flying Dutchman!" This should confuse your sexual partner (or whoever is in hearing range) completely, sometimes causing interesting side effects.

The Forced Bukkake

This is where a willing girl acts or seems unwilling to get a facial shower from several men.

The Fountain Of You

While sitting on her face and having her eat your ass, jerk off like a madman. Build up as much pressure as possible before you release and spew like a venerable geyser all over her face, neck and tits. (Better in her bed)

The Galloping Horse

Great for... Both of you

How does it work? The man sits on a chair with his legs outstretched in front of him. You climb aboard and stretch your legs out straight behind him. He clings onto your arms and you lean back holding on to him for support. You're in control, so then push back and forth on top of him as fast or as slow as you like.

The turn-ons: He gets a good view and you get deep penetration.

The turn-offs: Sex positions like these might be uncomfortable for you to keep your legs stretched out for any length of time

You say: 'This one got the thumbs up - very comfortable and it really hit my G-spot '

The Gobstopper

With two hands, spread your girl's anus open, then spit a big-ass loogie down the asshole then close it back up. You can give her a smack on the ass when you're done, if you want.

The Good Spread

Great for... Mind-blowing sex with you in the driver's seat.

How does it work? Get your man to lie flat on his back, then climb on top of him and slowly start to spread your legs out as far as you can get them. Then place your hands on his chest and rock back and forth.

The turn-ons: The wider apart you get your legs, the deeper the penetration will be - good news for you and your man.

The turn-offs: The stretch on your legs means this sex position can start to hurt after a while.

Difficulty rating: 3/5

You might need to do a bit of limbering up first!

Fun rating: 4/5 Who doesn't enjoy being in charge?

You say: 'This is one of the best sex positions as it helps to feel her cervix and the deeper feeling of penetration indeed '

The Gummy Bear

This is easily performed with someone who has dentures. Just  jam your naughty boy down her throat (through her gums) blowing your jack down her throat.  The feel of her gumming your hard cock is amazing.

The Halmstad Hook

This is a unique sequence of events named after a town in Sweden, where this apparently happens quite frequently. After dumping your spunk in her rear, the sauce is sucked out of the anus by the male.  Once the sauce has transferred from her bowls to your mouth--the product that has been created is now known as "Swedish Cheese."  The move is completed when the "Swedish Cheese" is transferred to the ladies mouth via a deep tongue kiss.  You can cap this off with a swift stinging slap of her ass to show her how much you care and appreciate all her hard work. A straw may help in this act.

The Ham and Cheese Sandwich

Eating a woman's box after you ejaculate all over it. A delightful, tasty combination of her yummy meat curtains with your added cheesy topping is sure to appeal to anyone's appetite.

The High Dive

A “high dive” is what you do when you pull your erect penis all the way out of your partner (whether it be her vagina or anus) and then penetrate her in one fell swoop. (Make sure she’s adequately lubricated.)

The High Five

When having sex with your wife or girlfriend from behind and you raise your hand in the air as if your waiting for a “High Five.” At which point your buddy who was hiding in the closet jerking off comes out and slaps your hand completing the High Five and then quickly takes your place without her knowing she is getting fucked by your buddy at least not right away. (you can add the spin of the “Matthew McConaughey” by saying “Alright, Alright, Alright” using the voice tone of actor Matthew McConaughey when the transfer is complete.) This can also be done with your girl blindfolded.   (this is similar to the Bullwinkle and the Matthew McConaughey).

The Hole In One

The act of sticking your dick in your own ass. Just try not to get a huge boner once it's in, or you'll get a nice snapparoo.

The Hotdog in a Hallway

When laying the pipe, you realize your dick isn't even touching the walls of her vagina, kind of like tossing a hotdog in a hallway. Most frequently happens when banging the neighborhood trick or if you're slinging a small dick.

The Hot Karl

The act in which a woman sucks the cock of the same man who moments earlier was balls deep in her can.

The Hot Karl Candy Cane

A variation of the above in which the man who is receiving the oral cock cleaning gives the woman a reach around.

The Hot Lunch

While receiving head from a woman, (her, on her back, you straddle her chest) you proceed to shit on her chest--just for the hell of it.  She then becomes the "Lunch Lady."

The Hershey Highway

When plugging your girl in the ass, you run into some hot shit. Don't hurt her feelings by getting grossed out though, just pretend it's extra lube.

The Hindenburg

When some girl who is so bad at oral sex, you're forced to cry "Oh! The humanity!" as her teeth scrape your man tool.

The Hunter Gatherer

You and your partner defecate while 69ing. Pretty much self-explanatory.

The Indian Cock Burn

While a chick sucks you off, she twists her hand around your shaft as if she was trying to give you an Indian burn.

The Jedi Mind Trick

When banging a girl who is sleeping or drunk, you repeatedly shout "I'm NOT fucking you, I'm NOT fucking you".

The Jelly Donut

Give some slut in the ally a facial and follow it up with a swift pimp crack in the nose. The resulting blood and jizz that covers her face bears a resemblance to a jelly donut.  Beware this could end in you being arrested for assault.

The Juanita Special Bean Dip

While your tramp girl rides you like a mechanical bull, insert your thumb into her poop chute (be sure to get your thumb nice and gooey), then stick your brown thumb into her mouth, and slip it under her tongue so she can get the full robust taste of the Juanita "special" bean dip.  This has to be done with special relationships.

The Kennebunkport Surprise

The act of covertly filling your cheeks with chunky-style New England clam chowder, and screaming in disgust as you hurl it between your partners legs while eating her out.  Hopefully she loves practical jokes.

The Kneel and Sit

Great for... Being in control

How does it work? Get your man to kneel down on the bed. Now sit on his lap with legs either side of his body and slide onto him. Now you can move and wriggle away to your heart's desire and control the speed and penetration.

The turn-ons: Not only are you in control, but he's in perfect position to play with your breasts and nipples.

The turn-offs: Your partner mind find his legs go to sleep after a while, so don't spend hours in this position

The Kneeling Fox

Great for... Deep penetration.

How does it work? You get on your hands and knees and lean forward on your arms. He kneels, grabs hold of your waist and enters you from behind.

The turn-ons: Most men loves the thrill of a 'doggy-style' position so this is bound to get him going.

The turn-offs: You don't get to look at each other and you can't kiss so it's not the most intimate of positions.

Difficulty rating: 2/5 He's working the hardest but you've got to keep in sync with him.

Fun rating: 3/5 You'll have really fast and thrilling sex that will leave both your hearts racing.

You say: 'It's not the most romantic, but for G-spot stimulation, 'doggy-style' and this position are the best'

The Landshark

The woman braces herself facing a wall, naked, hands against the wall, legs spread, bent over so that her ass is lusciously jutting out. (hint: She might want to wear a biking helmet and some rollerblading wrist guards to avoid serious injury.) Next, the guy also naked as well as stiff cocked, walks to the opposite end of the room, places his palms together and raises them above his head, (thus imitating the dorsal fin of a shark) and begins chanting the theme to Jaws. When given some predetermined signal, the guy sprints toward the girl at full speed with his pelvis-out, fin protruding, and rams her dead square in the ass.

The Lap Love

Great for... Hitting your G-spot

How does it work? Get the man to sit on the bed with his legs out in front of him. Now sit on his lap facing him with your legs either side of his body. Now you can rock together and should slowly reach orgasm simultaneously.

The turn-ons: You should like it, because it gives deep penetration and you should get a really powerful orgasm.

The turn-offs: Some men lose feeling in their legs, if you do this for too long.

You say: 'I just tried this position with my fiancé and we both enjoyed it... usually our sex routine is the same old boring stuff but tonight completely changed it for us!'

The Leap Frog

Get more bang for your buck. While this position is a natural for G-spot stimulation, it can be a winner for your clitoris, too. “When he’s in a comfortable enough position, he can try to reach under you and provide clitoral stimulation.”

If it isn’t working: If the thrusting makes it hard for him to keep his hand on target, have him grind against you in circles instead. Less in-and-out motion can make for a more consistent connection.

The Legs on Shoulders

Great for... The more flexible woman

How does it work? You simply lie on your back and he kneels between your legs. Then you simply lift your legs onto his shoulders.

The turn-ons: He can touch you everywhere and you can move at whatever speed you want.

The turn-offs: You have to be able to get your legs up there and then you don't really do much, because otherwise it might stretch you too much.

You say: This is the best position we have tried so far

The Lorena Bobbit

Obviously, this one is for the ladies. After finding out your man cheated on you and leaving him is not good enough. You engage in some hard core booty sex, squeeze your butt cheeks together as tight as you can, and start violently jumping and thrashing your ass around, in an effort to rip his dick off. This can also work with giving oral. (To reach true Lorena status, you must take the severed dick for a drive and then toss it out the window.) Charges may be filed but, any jury with a woman on it will find you “Not Guilty.”

The Lusty Leg Wrap

With all the twisting and bending that goes on, sometimes sex can feel more like your cardio day at the gym than something designed to get you off. That's why it's important to have at least one relaxed orgasm-inducing position in your repertoire. Such as this: "While you're on your back, he should lie on his side, turned toward you."  "Swing both legs over his hips and thighs, making a bridge over them." Then, just let him gently thrust into you. If it takes you a while to climax, this pose is ideal. "It's not very aerobic, so the sex can go on for a long time without either of you tiring out," says Laura Berman, PhD, director of the Berman Center and author of The Passion Prescription. "When you want to climax, it's easy to touch yourself or he can use his top hand to stimulate you."

Magic Bullet

Great for... Hitting your G-spot.

How does it work? Lie face up on the bed with your legs straight up in the air. Your man kneels on the bed behind you, holds onto your legs for leverage and thrusts!

The turn-ons: With one hand he can push your legs together so he feels fuller inside you and with the other he can touch you wherever he likes.

The turn-offs: Your legs can get a bit achy.

Difficulty rating: 2/5 Another position for lazy girls, but it will give your legs a bit of a stretch.

Fun rating: 2/5 It's good, but some of you might like to be a bit more involved

You say: 'Phew - I thought this would be a bit tricky, but we both found it easy. 9/10 for us'

The Manhandle Her

Great for: You - he gets to play with you in all the right places.

How does it work?

No beds needed for this one - you can try it anywhere in the house, although you might want to be near a wall for balance. Stand in front of him and get yourself into a position where it's easy for him to enter you from behind (you might need to bend forward to start with) and then slowly straighten up, ensuring his penis stays in you. If you find it awkward, then you can stay leaning forwards, in which case he can still hold onto you. Then when you're both ready, he can start thrusting - there's not a whole lot you need to do except lean back and enjoy yourself!

The turn-ons: If you tend to achieve a better orgasm from multiple areas of stimulation then this one is for you as he can rub your breasts and clitoris at the same time.

The turn-offs: Keeping your balance

Difficulty rating: 2/5

Nice 'n' easy unless you're completely different heights.

Fun rating: 4/5

Perfect for those moments when you want to have sex right now

You say: 'This is really good in the bath or shower'

The Man Trap

Great for... Orgasmic, week-night sex, when you've not got the energy to really go for it.

How does it work? We're all for banning the missionary position on good to know, but we have to admit this one's not too far off. You lie on the bed and he gets on top of you. He then thrusts in and out but while doing so, you wrap your legs around his. It gives you a bit more power to control his speed and rhythm and if you arch your back slightly, you'll really start to feel the benefits.

The turn-ons: He gets to do his stuff but he'll get aroused by your legs entwining around him. The feeling of him rubbing against you should also give you a really powerful orgasm.

The turn-offs: If you're trying to break away from him-on-top, you-on-bottom sex then this is maybe not that different. But there's no harm in easing yourself into some of the more adventurous moves.

Difficulty rating: 1/5 All you have to do is lie there and catch him in your man-trap!

Fun rating: 2/5 An oldie, but a goodie.

The Matthew McConaughey

When having sex with your wife or girlfriend from behind while she blows your best friend you raise your hand in the air as if your waiting for a “High Five.” At which point your buddy slaps your hand completing the High Five (Make sure to say “Alright, Alright, Alright” using the voice tone of actor Matthew McConaughey when you do the High Five.) This can also be done with your girl blindfolded.   (this is similar to the Bullwinkle and the High Five. )

The Menthol

The act of performing oral sex on someone while or after eating a mint, thus insuring a pleasurable, tingly feeling on your cock.

The Mellon Dive

Head butting a woman's big titties. Always lots of fun.

The Melody Maker

Great for... A mind blowing orgasm

How does it work? This one's a bit more tricky than normal and you'll probably need a small footstool or comfy chair. Sit on the chair sideways and lean backwards so your head is pointing downwards. Now get your fella to kneel between your legs and enter you. You may find it helps if you hold hands so that he can support you

The turn-ons: Having your head pointing down means that you'll get an amazing rush of blood, especially when you reach orgasm.

The turn-offs: It can feel a bit odd at first and you may not be able to stay there too long

Difficulty rating: 3/5 Not that difficult once you get used to it, but the initial leaning back can be tricky.

Fun rating: 5/5 The strength of the orgasm makes this one a real firecracker!

You say: 'Woah - can't thank you enough for this one '

The Monkey Wrench

When a woman takes your dick back between your legs and sucks you off.

The Monroe Transfer

When you and your partner connect each other's assholes with a tube. One defecates through the tube, thus transferring the turds to the rectum of the other.

The Moped

A chick that's a fun ride until your friends see you on it, if you know what I mean.  It’s times like this you wish your moped looked as great as a Harley.

The Moses

A man who enjoys going down on a woman during her period. Derived from the Biblical figure Moses, who parted the Red Sea.

The Mork

Taken from Mork & Mindy , the popular '70s sitcom starring Robin Williams, in which Mork had a specific hand gesture greeting, "the Mork" involves keeping your first two fingers and your last two fingers stuck together, and separating them. At this point, you would place your index and middle fingers inside her vagina, and your ring and pinky fingers in her anus.  Once Completed you shout out “Nanu Nanu”

The Mudslide

For those with access to a garden hose, try a Mudslide.  When your girls drunk as Dean Martin sometime, pull your meatbag out of her kornhole and quickly jam the hose up the vacant cavity.  Turn on the faucet full blast and stand back.  Before you know it her eyes will bug out and a flow of Haitian river water will stain your sheets.  I suggest writing her name in big red letters and hanging the sheet on the front of your house for all to see.  For added pleasure, call her a dumb cunt and jerk off in her eyes.  She'll thank you.  Yeah sure she will.

The Mugger

Some how your cock ends up in some girls mouth and an unwanted thumb ends up in your chute. You retaliate back at your opponent by releasing a gust of swamp ass.  You can guarantee that she would have rather been hit in the face with pepper spray.

The Muff Teaser

Finger, suck, eat, etc. a girl until she is begging for it. Then rub your stiffy round her golden valley until she screams at you to give her a banging. Right when her frustration is at its highest level, stop and finish with a DIY(do it yourself) handjob. Then leave the room saying you have a headache. Not to be tried if you want to shack up with the girl again.

The Mushy Biscuit

This is actually a very fun game. Just choose a piece of food that you and your male friends like to eat. Then you and your buddies form a tight circle around the food item and proceed to jerk off all over it. Last one to bust a nut gets the prize of eating the food.  (also known as the Soggy Biscuit)

The New Jersey Meat-Hook

The unusual method of inserting one's finger in the ass of your partner while screwing her, and feeling her cervix. This procedure is most effective from behind.

The New York Style Taco

Anytime when you are so drunk that when you go down, you barf on her box. Happy trails.

The Nixon

A variation of the Bullwinkle in which you give two peace signs as your signal of dominance.  May enhance the act by shaking jowls and yelling, "I'm not a crook". This is considered very bold and is frowned upon for those with a modicum of decorum.

The Om

If you need long-lasting clitoral stimulation, you can settle into this comfortable position and stay a while. Get extra-close, and grind against your partner, “It’s really about his pelvis and your clitoris making contact.”

If it isn’t working: Switch up your movements. Try rubbing up and down against him or rolling your hips in mini circles until you find what feels best.

The Organ Grinder

Great for... Deep penetration.

How does it work? You lie on the bed with your legs apart and raise them up in the air. Your man kneels in front of you and leans forward in between your legs. He then thrusts back and forth and you keep your legs up in front of his arms.

The turn ons: This positions allows your man to penetrate you deeply and is another great angle for hitting your g-spot

The turn offs: You have to keep your legs up, which can start to ache after a while.

Difficulty rating: 3/5 If you can bare the leg strain, it's a piece of cake!

Fun rating: 4/5 Definitely up there with the best of them.

You say: 'I really like this one. It hits my G-spot every time'

The Oyster

A derivation of the tea bag which is accomplished by numbing one's testicles with ice and then inserting them in a chicks mouth and letting the tramp munch on them.

The Pasadena Mudslide

This happens when you leave a windy shit between the breasts of a woman while you straddle her neck for a blowjob. (A close cousin to the Cleveland Steamer.)

The Pattycake

While you're nailing some girl doggie style and your friend is catching some head off the same girl, you get a quick game of pattycake going. This makes you reminisce of your childhood memories and eases the sight of watching your friend blow his load. This can be a challenge not to loose your hard on due to the laughing being done by all. If your concerned about this, I suggest you try “The Matthew McConaughey” or “The High Five” first.

The Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich

Shit on a woman's snatch during menstruation. Proceed to munch. Mmmm Mmmm Nasty! (Crunchy or smooth...depending on what you've been eating.)

The Pig Roast

While you're plugging some girl's hole doggie style, (up the dirt road or the funhole, pick your poison) she's blowing your best friend's cock at the same time, hence simulating a pig on a spit. (Very Similar to Chinese Finger Cuffs and the “The Matthew McConaughey” or “The High Five”).

The Piledriver

It is a difficult position sometimes seen in porn videos. It is described in many ways by different sources. In a heterosexual context, the woman lies on her back, then raises her hips as high as possible, so that her partner, standing, can enter her vaginally or anally. The position places considerable strain on the woman's neck, so firm cushions should be used to support her.

The receiver lies face down legs spread on the edge of the bed and parallel to the floor, while the penetrator stands behind, holding both legs.

The Pinball Wizard

Does it look like the dirty version of a move you’d do in barre class? Yes. Does it provide awesome sensations for your nether regions? Absolutely. The key here is getting really close, then changing up the direction of your movements. Instead of regular thrusting, have your partner move your body up and down against his.

If it isn’t working: Stabilize yourself (you may have to come down from the balls of your feet unless your guy can support you with one hand), and have him touch your clitoris just the way you like. “If he has the strength for it, that could definitely work.”

The Pink Glove

Hate when this happens. Every so often a girl is not wet enough during sex. When you finally pull out to give her the money shot, the inside of her pussy sticks to your cock. Thus, the pink glove.

The Pirate's Treasure

While fucking your girl in the ass, you strike a hefty load of shit. After you've found this buried treasure deep in her booty, you scream, "Argh!", like a pirate.

The Pit Stop

You've spent all night boozing and courting a local girl, now it's time to go back to her place. Wrap up the chit chat by jamming junior down her throat. When her lips are wrapped good and tight around your meat whistle, let loose with that piss that's been building for hours down her throat at first she might think it is your hot cum but, as soon as she taste it the look of excitement will turn to horror . You won't be able to stop, so if she chases you, make sure the pursuit leads you to every corner of her abode, she'll appreciate your lawn sprinkler imitation.

The Pole Vault

Originated by ancient Romans.  When the female has sucked your pole to the point of ejaculation she swiftly inserts the index finger of her right hand into your anus.  This surprise causes a subtle popping out of the eyes, a natural arch to the lower back and extra propulsion necessary to clear the high bar. Bruce Jenner added this to his warm-up routine after losing to Sergie Bubka in the 1979 Olympics.

The Popcorn Trick

First, take your girlfriend to the cinemas, for a nice romantic date. Buy a tub of popcorn, wait until the lights dim, and carefully make a hole in the bottom on the tub. Then, inconspicuously insert your penis through the bottom of the tub into the popcorn and casually offer some to your sweetheart. When she digs in, she will find nice surprise. Who doesn't love buttered popcorn?

The Pretzel Dip

You already know pretzels taste good, but contorting your bodies into one can make for explosive pleasure. Deviate from the thrusting norm, and focus on friction for maximum results. “This position is about persistently connecting and grinding against each other.” That grinding action will help make your clit happy.

If it isn’t working: Not feeling enough pressure? Have your partner lean back. “If he leans forward, it’s easier to manually stimulate you,". "But leaning back offers the best angle to press into each other."

The Puerto Rican Fog Bank

While 69ing with your partner, release a cloud of sphincter fog directly into her nostrils.

The Purple Mushroom

This occurs when a woman is giving you oral sex and you withdraw your penis in order to poke it back into her cheek. It should leave a lasting impression similar to a purple mushroom.

The Rear Admiral

An absolute blast. When getting a chick from behind (while both partners standing), make sure you don't let her grab on to anything when she is bent over. Then, drive your hips into her backside so that you end up pushing her forwards. The goal is to steer her around the room with your penis. You rise to Admiral status when you can bang her around the room without crashing into anything and not using your hands to grab onto her hips.

The Resuscitation

When a girl or guy is asleep, carefully open their mouth so they don't awake. Then, squat over their face and carefully place your shit hole on their lips. When the time is right, you let rip the biggest baddest fart ever known to man and see if it wakes them  up. Great fun during those long sleepless nights.

Reverse Scoop

Feeling intimate? This position offers the best of both worlds: ultimate closeness to your partner and plenty of clitoral stimulation. “Once you’re both comfortably positioned, you can get into a great grinding rhythm against his leg.”

If it isn’t working: One of you can slip a hand down south to get the most out of this position. “Since you’re on your sides, you have enough support to easily provide some manual stimulation.”

The Rodeo

Similar to the Bronco. You start once again, banging a chick from behind. Just as she is totally into it you grab her hair with one hand and shout out “Yee Haw” signaling several buddies to bust into the room. See if you can hang on for 8 seconds cowboy. Ride her Cowboy!

The Rose Creeper

Seductively brush a beautiful long stem red rose against your sweetheart's neck, breasts, and inner thigh. Slowly rub the rose along her smooth skin as you tenderly kiss her entire body. After working her into the mood for some deep love making, unzip your fly and pull out your raging boner. Begin to punish-fuck her dumper while whipping her with the rose and screaming nasty obscenities at her. I bet she never saw that coming.

The Rusty Bike Pump

Is similar to a piledriver where penetration is achieved from above at a downward angle with the receiving partner bottom side up.

The Rusty Trombone

Rusty trombone is an act in which a man stands with his knees and back slightly torqued with feet at least shoulder width apart to expose his anus. The "player" typically kneels behind the man and performs analingus while reaching up beneath the testicles or around the body to manually administer rapid up and down motions of the penis, mimicking the motions of a trombone player. The act is defined primarily by the physical orientation of the partners, the combination of analingus with manual sexual stimulation and the resemblance of the anal sphincter to a trombone mouthpiece; however, other positions and variations are possible.

The Scissors

Great for... Intimate sex

How does it work? Easy to do, complicated to explain. So you lie facing each other and put your top leg over his hip. He grabs your bum and then you out your arm round his waist and push your bottom leg against his leg.

The turn-ons -You'll be rubbing your clitoral area on his groin and you get to kiss each other.

The turn-offs -This sex position can be little boring and pedestrian for some.

You say: 'It's not visually exciting but physically it's amazing'

The Screwnicorn

When a lesbian puts her strap-on dildo on her forehead and proceeds to go at her partner like a crazed unicorn.

The Seashell

Opening up is a good thing when you’re trying to get off. “When your vulva is very exposed, there’s a lot of clitoral and inner labial stimulation.” Go to town with your hands, and focus on the visual of him sliding in and out of you if you need some erotic fuel.

If it isn’t working: Do away with the hand action. Ask your partner to reposition his body a bit higher so his pelvis is right against your clitoris.

The Sandbag

Under an assumed name in a tropical region, you meet a young hottie and engage in the well known clichĂ© of sex on the beach. Just before insertion, remove the rubber (without getting caught of course), and proceed to bang away until you blow your load, without pulling out.  As you dismount and prepare for departure, grab the unused condom and throw it on her belly and run away laughing hysterically while leaving her confused and butt-necked, and knocked up. Especially lots of fun when accomplished during the spring break season.

The Seatbelt

While one gay guy straddles his partners cock, he receives a blowjob from the fruitcake on the bottom.

The Sexy Spoons

Great for...Slow, intimate sex.

How does it work?You lie in bed on your side. He spoons you from behind, entering you slowly to make bedtime cuddles that bit more interesting.

The turn-ons- You feel really close and intimate, as well as getting an amazing orgasm!

The turn-offs- This sex position can be a bit awkward at first, but stick with it.

Difficulty rating: 2/5

Super-easy - once again he does all the work. Hooray!

Fun rating: 4/5

Whether you like it fast or slow, this position is a definite winner.

You say: 'Perfect for a lazy Sunday morning and surprisingly sexy, as well'

The Shirley Temple

Pour a can of 7-Up on a girl's menstruating pussy and eat her out.

The Shocker

When you insert your index and middle fingers in the woman's vagina and pinky in her anus. After giving her a few good minutes of double duty finger banging, pull your fingers out and give your index and middle finger a quick sniff and pinky a good sucking, all in one smooth motion.(a.k.a. Smoking the Pinky.)

The Shop Vac

When a dirty, talented girl stuffs you're entire package (balls and all) into her mouth, and blows you with amazing suction power.

The Shoulder Stand

Great for... You - You'll get deep penetration and an amazing orgasm.

How does it work? You lie on your back and he kneels in front you. Wrap you legs around him and let him lift you up so he can enter you. He supports you with one arm under your back while you put the weight on your shoulders, as he thrusts in and out of you.

The turn ons: This sex position's all about you. By arching your back, he's more likely to hit your G-spot and give you a brilliant orgasm.

The turn offs: He is holding some of your weight, so depending on the size of his biceps, he might get a little tired and have to put you down.

Difficulty rating: 3/5 He needs to be strong enough to hold you till you climax.

Fun rating: 4/5 You'll be trying to arch your back in every position once you've tried this.

The Sit and Straddle

Have your partner sit, and straddle him so you're face-to-face. "You have a lot of control over the speed, angle, and motion because you can use your arms and legs to help you maneuver."  "Rather than just moving up and down, which can be especially tiring, sway forward and back, rubbing your clitoral area against him." In addition to the freedom of movement, there are a few other benefits to this move. "If you lean back just a little bit, you'll get greater internal stimulation and he'll be able to play with your clitoris." Plus, your breasts will be perfectly aligned with his mouth, adding a whole other layer to the sexual experience. Seriously, don't neglect the boobs, people.

The Skull Cap

Your sitting on a couch or chair (preferably watching Baywatch). She's in front on her knees with your sack in her mouth. While she is sucking... you are stroking. As you begin your joyous release, grab the base of your shaft and (as hard as you can) tattoo her forehead with your cock. When done properly a full impression of a mushroom should be left on her bean.

The Slippery Nipple

Great for... Those days when you don't have the energy to really go for it.

How does it work? He sits upright and you lie flat out on your back. You then put your legs round him and shuffle on. He does all the work - you just have to lie back and enjoy yourself!

The turn-ons: He has his hands free so he can caress your breasts, or whatever he likes.

The turn-offs: Not so good if you like to take control.

Difficulty rating: 1/5 Definitely a position for gym-o-phobes!

Fun rating: 3/5 He does the strenuous stuff, you get all the attention - sounds good to us!

You say: 'Great fun and it gives you a flat stomach!'

The Slumpbuster

When a professional athlete finds the dirtiest, nastiest, most disease-ridden skank and puts the wood to her with the intent that it will break up a slump.

The Snowball Bukkake

Is where two women are either kneeling in the center surrounded by several men who are ejaculating on them or all of the men are having intercourse or receiving oral sex from the girls and at the point of climax the men cum on the girls faces. The girls then share all of the cum from mouth to mouth as a “Snowball.”

The Snuff

Lovingly fuck the shit out of your virgin or ragging girlfriend and wipe your bloody member across her face. Take a couple Polaroids, show them to your friends, and brag that you're a snuff film superstar.

The Soggy Biscuit

Soggy biscuit (also known as ookie cookie, limp biscuit, wet biscuit, shoot the cookie, or cum on a cookie) is a male masturbation game where the participants stand around a biscuit or cookie masturbating until ejaculating onto it and the last person to do so must eat the biscuit.  (also called the Mushy Biscuit )

Speed bump

Great for...Fast and passionate sex

How does it work? You lie out flat on your stomach with a cushion under your belly and pelvic area. He lies on top of you, you spread your legs and he enters you, you'll be orgasming for England before you know it!

The turn ons- It's a great position for a quickie as things can get quite fast and furious.

The turn offs- The skin-to-skin contact can mean you get a bit on the sweaty side, and it's not the most romantic of positions.

Difficulty rating: 2/5

You just lie down with your face in the pillow - he goes for it

Fun rating: 2/5

Your man will probably enjoy it a bit more than you, but worth a go all the same!

You say: 'It's the easiest way to reach orgasm'

The Spider

Great for...Long slow intercourse

How does it work? Start with her sitting facing and astride him. The the woman lies back, followed by the man until each partner's head in between the other's legs. Then each partner can bring their knees up and hold onto the other's legs. Now all you need to do is slow, wiggling movements to keep each other aroused for a long time.

The turn-ons- This is a very lazy, enjoyable sex position that can keep you happy for a long time

The turn-offs- There's not a lot of action and movement, which could be boring for some

The Splosh

"Splosh" literally means to "make a splashing sound." And in sexual terms, splosh refers to a messy fetish that can involve food, such as porridge, or anything gooey, like mud.

How to use it in a sentence: Kayla and I went to a splosh party the other day and everybody was covered in pudding and rubbing it all over themselves. It was awesome!

The Squat

Great for... You. This sex position gives you the most amazing sensation.

How does it work? Quite simply, he lies on the bed and you squat on top of him. Yup, that's it. Then you raise yourself up and down on him, leaning on the bed, his hands or his chest.

The turn-ons- This will stimulate you in ways you never thought possible.

The turn-offs- You look pretty stupid and you have keep your balance and make sure you don't tip forward - that could be rather painful for him.

You say: 'This position rocks - my boyfriend loves it too'

The Stingy Nut

When a chick isn't worth fucking or she acts like she is all that; pull down her pants, bend her over, and jerk off all over her ass.

The Stranger

Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep and then jerking off, eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else.

The Sud N' Fud

When trying to bang a girl, she gives that same old story, "I not that kind of girl.", "I don't fuck on the first date.", "I'm catholic.", "Stop asshole.", etc. etc... After hearing all this bullshit, you whip out your handy bar of soap. Then lather up her armpit (or any other joint you prefer), and proceed to fuck that instead.

The Sultry Saddle

If you want to try something new with your sex positions, sideways sex is a great place to start!

How does it work? He lies down with his knees bent and legs apart, and you sort of slot in the middle at right angles to his body. With one hand on his chest, and the other on his lower leg, rock back and forth until he's hitting the right spot.

The turn ons- It's all about you and you can wiggle around until it feels just right.

The turn offs- It might take a bit of practice to get it right, but hey, who's complaining?

Difficulty rating 2/5

It can take a while to get the positioning just right.

Fun rating 3/5

If the trickiness doesn't slow down your fun - it's a winner!

The Sweet Spoons

Emotional attachment to your partner can absolutely play a role in orgasm. If that sounds like you, there's no configuration that's more snuggly than the spoon. To assume the position, simply lie on your side, your dude scooted up behind you. Rather than move in and out, he should stay inside you, gently thrusting against the front wall of your vagina. "Aside from fulfilling your cuddly needs, it provides consistent stimulation, which is key for achieving orgasm from intercourse."  "Since he may not be able to penetrate you as deeply though, guide his hand around your [clitoris]." And just think: Once you've both climaxed, you'll be in perfect postcoital cuddle position too.

The Three-Eyed Turtle

Basically plug every orifice of a girl in the following manner: thumb in ass, fingers in pussy, and dick in mouth.

The Tight Squeeze

Great for…  spur-of-the-moment sex.

How does it work? Although this position can just about be done on the bed, it probably works better in a more spontaneous location, such as a table, kitchen work surface, chair, desk... if you get our meaning. The woman sits on the surface with her legs wrapped around the man's waist and squeezing him. The man stands facing the woman and she can wrap her arms around his back to keep herself upright.

The turn-ons: This works well for spur-of-the-moment sex, and can be done in quite a small space - that should be enough of a turn-on, if that's why you're trying it.

The turn-offs: You probably need to be quite fit to keep this up for longer than a few minutes.

The Tortoise

When you eat out someone who doesn't have pubic hair yet.  You got there before the hair (hare) did. (This is only for teenagers in love).

The Tropical Wind

When getting your asshole eaten out and you break wind.

The Tuna Melt

Lights out, you're down on a chick lapping away at an unusually juicy pussy when you discover that it just  happens to be the time of the month. A man of honor, by no means do you stop. When the whale spews, tartar sauce with a hint of raspberry smothers your face.  (this only work with chicks who REALLY cum hard).

The Turkey Slap

Turkey slap is a sexual behaviour in which a male slaps a partner's face repeatedly with his penis. While the act of hitting another's face with the penis can be a sexual act, the term "turkey slap" refers to the act when performed in a non-sexual way either playfully or to shame, degrade or harass the victim. More recently this has been popularized in the Netherlands in the form of swaffelen.

The term gained notoriety in Australia during 2006, after two male contestants in the Big Brother reality TV series performed the act on a female housemate. In the ensuing controversy, the male housemates were expelled from the house and contest for violating the show's terms of agreement.

The TV Dinner

Great for... Oral pleasure for you and fast sex

How does it work? Sit on a chair or your sofa and scoot forward so you're sitting fairly close to the edge. Now get your fella to kneel in front of you between your legs and slowly slide into you. Now he can grab your thighs and you can pull him onto you by his waist or bum. Things can get very fast and furious very quickly.

The turn-ons You should like this sex position, because he can use his mouth on you first, before you reach a fast, powerful orgasm together.

The turn-offs You may need to wriggle around a bit to make sure you're both in the right position

You say: 'OMG that was awesome! Truly the ideal position for me and my not-so-fit-man!

The Twisted Sister

Have your dominatrix girlfriend dress up in some hot black leather gimp wear and proceed to handcuff your hands behind your back and then force you to your knees. Unsuspecting, diminutive, and cradled over with your ass is in the air, she then gives you the most erotic enema of your life. Now that's some great S&M fun.

The Up and Over

Missionary position will never be the same again. "While on your back, put a pillow under your butt, lift your hips, and bring your legs up and back toward your shoulders, as though you're folding in half. This move allows your partner better ease of thrusting and deeper penetration

Valedictorian

This easy transition from missionary may not seem like a clitoris-pleaser, but a tweak makes it work. “Have him ride high and focus on pressing down on your body.” “It’s a great position for a lot of contact and grinding.”

If it isn’t working: Instead of having him do all the work, slip your arms around his back, hold him close to you, and rub your body against his. The added pressure might be just what you need to reach the big O.

The Vegetarian Hot Lunch

A variation of the Hot Lunch in which the diner stretches a piece of saran wrap over her mouth such that chewing (for texture) is possible, but no actual contact with waste product occurs.

The Wake Up Call

Waking up in the middle of the night with the hard on of your life. You then turn to your fast asleep partner and dry fuck her ass into oblivion. The clincher to performing a wake up call is to act like nothing of the sort happened in the morning. E.g. "Sweetheart, what's that on your back?"

The Walrus

After spunking in a girl's mouth, you pinch the center of her two lips together and hold her nose. This will force the cum to dribble out of the sides of her mouth, thus the teeth of the walrus.

The Western Grip

When jerking off, turn your hand around, so that your thumb is facing towards you. It is the same grip that rodeo folks use, hence, western.

The Westside Glaze

Same as the eastside glaze, but the majority of your jizz lands on the left side of her face.

Woman On Top

Also called the cowgirl or riding position, is a sex positions in which the man lies on his back or sits, the woman straddles him facing forward and the man inserts his erect penis into the woman's vagina or anus.

This position is commonly cited as one of the more popular sex positions, especially by women, because of its ability to adequately stimulate the clitoris. In this position, the woman is usually the active partner during the sexual activity.

The Woody Woodpecker

When a girl is sucking on your balls, tap your cock on her forehead.

The Wraparound

Great for... Female orgasm

How does it work? The man sits on the bed, with his legs outstretched. Then you climb on top of him, and wrap your legs round behind his back, while he pulls you towards him. Then you move up and down at a speed to suit you.

The turn-ons: You get very deep penetration and are able to kiss throughout. He also has easy access to your breasts which he'll love - and so will you if he makes the most of it!

The turn-offs: You have to do most of the work so you might get worn out quickly.

You say: 'Love this position. Hits the spot everytime. EXCELLENT!'

The Zombie Mask

While getting head from a girl, tell her you want her to look right up at you with those pretty little eyes" when you blow your load. Then, just when you're ready to spew a good week's worth of goo, blast that hefty load in both eyes. This temporary state of blindness will produce the zombie effect as she stumbles around the room with arms outstretched, and moaning like the walking dead.

Two in the pink, one in the stink

Simultaneous fingering of the vagina and anus using one hand. The index and middle finger are inserted in the vagina, and the pinky in the anus. A number of variations are possible by using different combinations of fingers in each orifice.

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